Captain Jack and the Milwaukee Time-Shift
by korvascus
Summary: Captain Jack Harkness is on vacation in Wisconsin. Who does he bump into? A leather clad man, a crashed spaceship, and something a bit wibbly-wobbly.
1. Chapter 1

Jack woke from his nap as the plane landed on the runway. He massaged the kinks in his back as he peered out the window. Air travel was a lot more advanced than it had been in World War 2, when he'd been flying his own fighter plane, but even so, it was still only 1959. Air travel had a long way to go until it would get to a point where he would term it "pleasant and comfortable."

As the plane taxied to the terminal, Jack stood up and grabbed his bag from the seat next to him. Thank goodness for half full flights. Shrugging on his WW2 RAF trench coat, he headed down the aisle towards the front of the plane. Giving the stewardess a dazzling smile, he disembarked down the stairs onto the tarmac.

Jack inhaled deeply as the cool Wisconsin air caressed his face. This was his first vacation in two years. Torchwood worked him hard, which is what he genuinely preferred, but every so often, especially after a particularly difficult mission, the need to get away and just exist, free of aliens, bureaucracy, and business as usual, became overwhelming. So here he was.

* * *

If anyone had asked him how he had picked Wisconsin as a vacation destination, he might have made up some elaborate story. Because the actual answer was rather silly. He had spun a desk globe and plopped his finger down. And it had landed on Wisconsin.

Still, any place was as good as any other and Jack had never been to Wisconsin before so he was looking forward to it. Rest, relaxation, maybe some fishing. He had a whole month to get lost and enjoy himself before he had to head back to Cardiff.

Strolling towards the main terminal building, Jack found information, where they directed him to the one car rental agency at General Mitchell Airport.

"Welcome to Milwaukee," the good looking man behind the counter greeted Jack as he approached. "How can I help you today?"

Lurid thoughts flashed through Jack's mind of just how this gorgeous man could "help him" but he managed to pull himself from that train of thought before it went too far.

"Looking to rent a car," he said politely as the man perked up at hearing this.

"Wonderful!" The man said. "Do you have a reservation?"

"Nope," Jack replied.

"Not a problem, not a problem," the man said as he started looking through a binder on his desk. "We have several cars available at the moment. Are you looking for anything in particular?"

"Something sexy and sleek," Jack responded automatically.

The man thought for just a second. Then he perked up. "I have just the thing!"

Twenty minutes later, Jack was pulling out of the rental agency parking lot in a shiny blue 1959 Chevy Impala convertible. It was mid September but he had the top down anyway. Nothing made Jack feel more alive than the wind in his hair, even if it was a bit chilly.

He didn't have a destination in mind, but that was part of the fun. Just being away from his responsibilities was enough to have him feeling relaxed and at ease. There was no pressure to be anywhere in particular. He was content to simply cruise.

Before long he found himself driving through a residential neighborhood. Well maintained houses sat behind well maintained lawns. Very pleasant in a rather boring sort of way. A nice change of pace for Jack. He was loving it!

A short while later he found himself on the main strip of this pleasant suburb and as he was passing by a diner, on a whim, he pulled into the lot. It was approaching dinner time anyway and as if on cue, his stomach started grumbling, agreeing with him wholeheartedly.

Putting the top back up, he hopped out of the car and locked up. The smell of burgers and other fried wonders assaulted his nose as he glanced at the sign above the diner. Arnold's. Jack shrugged. Worked for him

* * *

Author's Note: I'm well aware that whales aren't fish.


	2. Chapter 2

"I'm telling you Richie, Judy Parsons is the best kisser I've ever encountered."

"Fonzi," Richie Cunningham said from across the booth that he and his friend were sitting at, "you say that about at least three different girls a week."

"Yeah Richie I know but this time it's different. She does this thing with her tongue…" he paused and made some weird motions with his hands. Richie had no clue what they were supposed to be indicating but he was very fine not knowing. He had no interest in the details of Fonzi's sexual exploits.

Fonzi was about to continue with his story when he paused, eyes heading off to the front door. "Nice coat!" he whistled appreciatively.

Richie turned around to see what he was looking at. A handsome, dark haired man, who looked to be in his mid to late thirties, had walked in wearing a navy blue trench coat that seemed very WW2 to Richie. He immediately wondered if this man had fought in the war. He was certainly old enough for that to be the case. Well, the tail end of the war at least. Unless he was older than he looked. Richie supposed he could have been as much as 40.

"Thanks," the man said with a grin as he came over to where Fonzi and Richie were sitting. Apparently he had heard.

"Is that authentic?" Fonzi asked, eying the coat appreciatively.

"It is. RAF issue." He stuck out his hand. "Captain Jack Harkness."

Fonzi stuck out his hand. "Fonzi," he said, grasping the hand and noticing the firmness of the other man's grip. "And this is my friend Richie Cunningham."

Jack looked over at Richie and winked, which made Richie feel a bit uncomfortable but he overlooked it. "Hold on," Richie started, "RAF coat? But you sound American."

"Well yeah, but I fought for the British during the war." Both world wars actually, although he wasn't about to mention that. Nor the fact that he wasn't American.

Trying to change the subject, Jack glanced at the half eaten food on the table and asked, "is the food here any good?"

Richie and Fonzi exchanged glances. "It's not bad," Fonzi said at the same time that Richie said "it fills you up well enough."

Jack laughed at this. "Works for me!" That seemed to be fast becoming his mantra on this vacation. Looking around for an empty booth, he noticed the place was full up. Richie noticed this too.

"Why don't you join us?" Richie asked. "I'll grab you a burger. It's about the only thing here that's any good."

"Certainly better than the fish Al's always trying to unload on us," Fonzi agreed.

Jack hesitated. There was a group of three young women giggling together at a booth in the corner and he had noticed them eying him. He would have loved to go grab a bite (maybe more than a bite) with them, but he didn't want to be rude to these two young men. And there was always time for shenanigans later. "Sure," he grinned and took a seat next to Fonzi as Richie smiled back and got up to grab a burger for Jack.

"So you still living in England?" Fonzi asked.

"Wales, actually," Jack said as his stomach rumbled again.

"Whales?" Fonzi said, confused. "What do fish have to do with anything?"

Jack looked perplexed for a moment before realization dawned and he chuckled. "No, no, Wales is next to England. I live in a city called Cardiff."

"Oh," Fonzi responded, taking another bite of his hamburger.

"Here we are," Richie said, coming back with the burger. "Hot off the grill. I hope you like it with pickles. For whatever reason, you can't get a burger here without pickles. It seems to be the rule."

"I love pickles!" Jack said as he graciously accepted the burger from Richie. "Thanks."

"Got you a soda too." he plopped the drink down by Jack, who grinned from around his first bite of burger.

"How much do I owe you?" Jack asked as he reached for his wallet.

"Oh, I haven't paid for it yet. You can do that up front before you leave."

Jack nodded in understanding as he took another bite. The burger was solidly mediocre, but he was hungry so he wasn't gonna complain.

Just then a large man with an equally large nose came out from the kitchen. "Richie, your mother just called. She needs you home to help with some things."

"Thanks Al." Richie stood. "I'll see you later Fonz," he said to his friend and then to Jack, "Nice to meet you Captain Harkness."

"Please, call me Jack."

"Alright Jack, maybe I'll see you around." Then he gave a wave and headed for home.

"So what brings you to Milwaukee?" Fonzi asked once it was just the two of them.

Jack was about to reply when one of the pretty girls from the corner table came over. She opened her mouth to speak, then paused, looked back to her two friends, who egged her on with approving nods. "Say, Fonzi, who's your friend?" She paused, then added, "he's kinda dreamy." She suddenly blushed and put her hand over her mouth, as if not believing she had just said that. Then she bolted back to her table, where her friends were laughing hysterically.

Jack was trying hard not to choke on his burger but he was laughing so hard it was difficult. "Who was that?" he managed to finally gasp.

"Suzy D'amico," Fonzi replied, eying the three girls. "It seems she likes you," he said almost as an afterthought. Jack wasn't sure, but he thought he detected a hint of jealousy in his voice.

Suddenly Fonzi stood up. "I, uh, gotta head back to um, yeah." He paused, rubbing the back of his head. "I'll see you around."

Fonzi had just started heading for the door, as Jack looked on in confusion (what the hell had just happened?!), when from outside there came a violent crashing sound followed by a loud and terrified scream. He and Fonzi were instantly running towards the noise. Even though Jack didn't know for sure yet what was happening, he had a funny feeling. This was just the way his life seemed to work. _So much for my nice, relaxing vacation_ he thought sardonically as he ran. Then he grinned. On the other hand, he wouldn't be Captain Jack Harkness without a little adventure.


	3. Chapter 3

When they got outside Jack was surprised to see that rather than the beginnings of an alien invasion, it was simply a car crash. Of course the car had crashed into his rental car, which now lay on its side, smoking ominously. "Oh, of course," he sighed. Over 20 cars in the parking lot and it had to pick his to smash into.

He already heard shouts of "call an ambulance," so confident that that was being taken care of, he headed over to the scene to check on the driver. But he wasn't hopeful. Cars these days were practically tanks, all heavy steel and chrome. To be able to knock his car onto its side with such violence, the other car had clearly been traveling very fast. Jack doubted the driver had survived.

Jack noticed that Fonzi was right by his side. His mouth twitched upwards just the slightest bit. He was remembering the last time he was side by side with a leather-clad man, racing towards trouble. It may have been a different man, and this may only have been a car wreck rather than Daleks or Cybermen, but all the same he felt a warm glow of nostalgia and longing in the pit of his stomach. He knew he'd find the Doctor again some day. He could feel it in his bones.

Arriving at the wreck, he could see a body in the driver's seat, slumped over the steering wheel. He couldn't determine the man's condition however because his fedora had fallen down over his face. Reaching for the door handle, he tried to pull it open but it was stuck shut from the impact.

"Help me with this," he said to Fonzi, and between the two of them they managed to pry the door open.

Jack pulled the man's hat from his face. The man's eyes were closed and a huge gash ran the length of his forehead where it had impacted the steering wheel. The man looked dead. Jack checked his carotid just to be sure. There was no pulse.

"Is he, um…" Fonzi gulped nervously, his face turning pale, but managed to finish his sentence. "Is he dead?"

"Yeah, I'm afraid he is," Jack said sadly. Fonzi took a few steps back and went even paler.

Jack reached into the man's back pants pocket, which was exposed from the way he was slumped over.

"Hey, what are you doing?" Fonzi asked indignantly.

"Looking for ID to see who he is," he replied as he pulled out the man's wallet.

"Shouldn't we let the police handle that?"

But Jack didn't respond. He was too busy staring in shock. He had opened the man's wallet, but it wasn't the very normal looking Wisconsin driver's license that had him so flustered. It was what he found hidden behind it. A Z-type emergency data wafer. From the 28th century.

* * *

With a sleight of hand perfected from his years as a con artist, Jack slipped the data wafer into his pocket, without anyone else noticing. He would have liked to search the rest of the man and the car for other things that might give a clue as to who he was, but at that moment the first police car, siren wailing, pulled into the parking lot. He wondered what they'd make of the advanced technology that he was sure they'd find on him, but there wasn't much he could do. He was far out of his jurisdiction, and he had no idea who handled this kind of thing in this country in the 1950's. At this period in time Torchwood was especially secretive and as far as he knew, there had never been any international collaboration.

Jack stepped away from the car as the first officer approached. "He appears to be dead, officer," Jack said with a mournful look on his face.

"Did you see what happened?" The officer said as he eyed the scene. At that moment an ambulance pulled up and two EMTs jumped out with a gurney.

Jack and the officer moved out of the way as they ran to the victim. "No sir, we" he indicated Fonzi and himself "were inside when we heard the crash. We came out when we heard it but we didn't see it happen." The officer nodded and looked around. "Who here saw what happened?" A young woman, crying a bit raised her hand to indicate she had seen and the officer walked over to her, leaving Jack and Fonzi.

Fonzi walked over to Jack. "I've never seen a dead guy before."

"I have. You get used to it."

Fonzi looked at Jack's coat. "Yeah, I guess you would have. Who was he?"

Fonzi pulled Jack from his thoughts. "Hm?"

"You looked at his ID. Who is he?"

"I don't know, some guy named Sam Wainwright. Don't know who he is." And after finding the data wafer, he wondered if that was his real name anyway.

The two EMTs had put the body on the stretcher and were wheeling it back to the ambulance. The officer was still getting a statement from the distraught girl. Jack took this opportunity to go over to his rental car to get his bag. The car was still on its side. The driver's side door was mangled from the impact and the passenger side door was crushed under the weight of the overturned car. So extracting a pocket knife, he cut a hole in the roof of the convertible and extracted his bag. Everyone was too busy either watching the officer, or the EMTs as they loaded the body into the back of the ambulance, to notice. Everyone but Fonzi, that is.

"What the hell are you doing?" Fonzi asked him. "It's my car," he said in reply. "See?" He showed Fonzi the bag he had retrieved, which had the initials CJH along the side. "Captain Jack Harkness" he said as he pointed.

"Oh," Fonzi said. "Sorry about your car."

"Eh," Jack said, dismissively. "It was a rental. And I'm happy I wasn't in it when it got hit."

Fonzi looked at the ambulance as it drove away, realizing that Jack could have just as easily been riding in the back of it right now. "Yeah, I'm glad you weren't either."

"But now I have the small issue of having no transportation."

"Where were you headed?" Fonzi asked. "If it's nearby, maybe I can take you there." He jerked his thumb at his motorcycle, parked nearby.

"I didn't have a specific destination in mind," Jack replied.

Fonzi paused for a second. "Wanna come back to my place? I mean, I don't have room for you to stay, but it'll give you a quiet place to regroup while you figure out where you're going."

"Sure," Jack said with genuine gratitude. It seems he had found a truly good man in this Fonzi fellow. He started walking over to Fonzi's bike.

"Don't you have to make a statement with the cops and get your rental car situation sorted out first?"

Jack dismissed it with a wave of his hand. "I'll handle it later."

Fonzi shrugged and followed him over to his bike. "Suit yourself."


	4. Chapter 4

"It's not much, but it's home," Fonzi said as he pulled up to a small apartment above a garage, which itself was behind one of those boring houses that Jack had passed by on the drive to Arnold's.

Jack wasn't about to complain. He practically lived at the Torchwood hub. The fact that this apartment of Fonzi's was above ground was already a huge improvement over what he was used to.

Fonzi led him into the apartment, which was essentially one giant room with a tiny kitchen and bathroom tucked away in the corner. "Make yourself at home," Fonzi said as he headed for the bathroom. I'll be right back.

Once Fonzi was in the bathroom, Jack quickly slipped the data wafer from his pocket. The device was a bit archaic (from his 51st century perspective at any rate) but he thought he should be able to interface it with his vortex manipulator's computer. Pressing a few buttons on the manipulator, he then laid the data wafer flat on manipulator. At first nothing happened, but then he groaned, smacked his head, and rotated the wafer 90 degrees. All of a sudden a holographic image shot up from the manipulator. It was the image of a stunningly beautiful woman and she seemed to be on a small spacecraft. One in very bad condition.

* * *

"Admiral Rax, I hope you get this message, but I fear that it's probably too late for that." She paused, glancing around the ship as if to confirm her dire situation. "I regret to inform you that the test has failed. Jamar and Kodra are both dead and I fear I'll soon be joining them." She paused again, gathering her thoughts, as the ship juddered violently. "As you know, we had to be within 0.15 AU from the sun for the test to have a chance of succeeding, and unfortunately, the sun emitted an unexpected level ten solar flare while we were halfway through the initialization process. This had the unexpected consequence of halting the process, which I didn't even think was possible. This in turn caused the experimental hyperbattery to blow, which is what killed Jamar and Kodra. I'm currently about 2 minutes from atmospheric re-entry with Earth, but not our Earth. After the battery blew the computer detected chronoton particle leakage. I appear to be drifting backwards in time, but the computer is failing and I can't get a proper read on the level of time displacement, so I can't tell you when I am. As for my spatial coordinates, I'm including them in this message. I don't know if this message will ever reach you, and I doubt I'll survive the crash, but just know that we did the best we could, but as sometimes happens, it wasn't enough. Thank you for the honor of working for you. Katali out."

And just like that, the hologram vanished, leaving a set of coordinates blinking on the screen of Jack's vortex manipulator.

He was just trying to plot out where on earth the coordinates might be when a startled gasp broke him from his thoughts.

Fonzi was staring at him, completely gobsmacked. "What the hell was that?!"

* * *

Jack looked properly chagrined. "You weren't supposed to see that."

"What?!" Fonzi cried out. "What the hell was that thing?"

"You're repeating yourself," Jack said as he started thinking of ways to rectify the situation.

"That thing... " Fonzi began, grasping for words. "It was like out of a Buck Rogers movie. It's like it's from the future or something!"

Jack started at this. He looked at Fonzi in a new light. Maybe this leather clad man could be trusted with the truth. Well, some of the truth. And by some he meant a very small part of it.

"It is from the future. 28th century. And so was the woman you saw. But it seems her ship crash landed here, in the present."

Fonzi took a moment to process this. And she's an alien?"

"I'm not sure," Jack admitted. "She might be human. But the recording made no mention of that."

"I've met an alien before," Fonzi mumbled, almost as if to himself.

"What?" Jack said. Normally, he'd believe it in a heartbeat. The universe was swarming with life, and Earth seemed to be a focal point for a lot of it. But that was mostly due to the rift. Which was all the way across the ocean in Cardiff. He looked at Fonzi more closely. Was this man bonkers, or was he telling the truth?  
"This guy named Mork. He was here a while back. Tried to kidnap me. I managed to convince him not to. Turns out he wasn't such a bad fellow. But he left. And now you're telling me there's another alien here in Milwaukee?"

Jack processed all this. Well, nothing ventured nothing gained. "Like I said, I don't know if she's an alien and I'm not sure she's in Milwaukee. I need to check the coordinates again." He looked at his vortex manipulater but the coordinates were gone. He was gonna have to replay the recording. "Let's watch it again, shall we?"

Jack and Fonzi watched as the recording played again. Jack with concentration on his face and Fonzi with awe on his. The coordinates popped up again and this time Jack plotted them into the manipulator. "It looks like, based on her trajectory, she came down about 20 miles north of here." He pressed a few more buttons. "In a place called Cedarburg."

"Yeah, I know it," Fonzi said. "You can drive there in about 35 minutes."

"Great," Jack enthused. Let's go!"

"Wait a second!" Fonzi said. "Who are you and how do you have that thing? Are you also from the future?"

"This thing, as you put it, is an emergency data wafer, and I got it from the man who died in the car crash."  
"You stole it from him?" Fonzi exclaimed.

"He wasn't using it anymore," Jack said dismissively. "And to answer your other question, I am from the future. At least originally." A dark cloud passed over his face as he said this last bit.

"Originally? What does that mean?" Fonzi enquired.

"Never mind," Jack said. "The most pressing issue right now is that a ship came down nearby and that woman, if she's still alive, she'll need help." He looked at Fonzi dead in the eyes. Are you coming or not?"

Fonzi looked out the window. "It's already dark out. Wouldn't it be best to wait until morning?"  
Jack glanced out the window. "Huh," he grunted. He hadn't noticed that it was so late. "Perhaps you're right. We can leave first thing in the morning."  
"I guess you're crashing here after all," Fonzi said with a sigh. "You can take the couch," he said, indicating the old, beat up couch against the far wall.

"What," Jack smirked, "You're not gonna invite me into your bed?"

"Excuse me?" Fonzi said, alarmed.

"Nothing," Jack sighed. "The couch will do fine." But too bad. This Fonzi guy was pretty damn cute. But it was the 1950's after all. Even if Fonzi was into guys he'd never admit it to someone else. Such things simply weren't done yet.

Fonzi eyed him warily but finally he grunted and headed back to the bathroom.

Jack, who was jetlagged and exhausted from his long trip, slipped off his coat and shoes and lowered himself to the couch. He looked at the closed bathroom door. Fonzi seemed a decent guy and all, but regardless of what he had just said, there was no way he was taking him to Cedarburg tomorrow. Jack was gonna have to do this alone.


	5. Chapter 5

Jack woke with a start. It only took a second before he remembered where he was. Very quietly he put on his shoes and slipped on his coat. He'd grab some food on the ride up. He headed over for the front table to grab the keys to Fonzi's motorcycle, just to borrow it of course, but they weren't there. That's when his eyes wandered over to the bed. It was empty. He shrugged, and was about to head out anyway, find someone to hitch a ride with, when the front door flew open, almost smacking him in the head.

"Sorry, Jack," Fonzi said as he walked in. "I got us some breakfast." He plopped his motorcycle keys down along with a few bagels and two hot cups of coffee.

The smell of the food caused Jack's stomach to growl mightily. He realized that he hadn't eaten even half of his burger last night before all the chaos at Arnold's started. In fact, he'd had very little to eat in close to 20 hours. He gave Fonzi an appreciative grin. Maybe he'd hold onto him after all. At least, for a little while.

* * *

"So how are we gonna find this ship?" Fonzi asked as he drove them north. "I mean, we know it's in the Cedarburg area, but where exactly?"

"The message we saw last night also included the frequency of their transponder beacon. Once we're a bit closer, if it wasn't damaged in the crash, I should be able to lock onto it with my vortex manipulator."

"Ok," Fonzi replied. "I think I understood some of that."

"It's like tuning to a certain frequency to get your favorite radio station. I'm locked into the frequency that the ship is broadcasting at. Once we get into broadcast range I should be able to find the ship."

"Ok. And what if someone else found the ship already? I mean a ship doesn't just fall out of the sky without people noticing."

Jack paused. He had thought of that himself but he didn't have an answer. "I don't know. We'll cross that bridge when we come to it."

* * *

"It's coming from here," Jack said, consulting his manipulator. They had parked the bike at the edge of the small forested area they found themselves in. Jack pointed to a patch of trees. "The signal is coming from about 12 feet beneath those trees."

"How's that possible? If a ship came down fast and hard enough to bury itself 12 feet underground, wouldn't there be a big hole? And how are the trees still there? I'd think they'd have been blasted away by the impact."

"Well obviously," Jack began, impressed by Fonzi's good questions, "the ship crashed much earlier than we thought. These trees are at least 100 years old. The ship must have come down at least a century ago."

"But that guy in the car crash, he was looking for it now. In 1959. He traced it to this time. How could he have been off by over a century?"  
"If you remember," Jack began, "Katali said that she was drifting in time and she didn't know exactly when she was. "My guess is that her rescuers had to extrapolate her position in time the same way I had to extrapolate her position in space. And it seems as though they got her time coordinates wrong."

Fonzi was about to say something else, but then he paused and his face fell. "I'm guessing this means that even if she survived the crash, Katali is no longer alive."

"No, I guess not." Jack said as kicked the ground with the toe of his boot. His boot sunk into the ground half an inch. It was soft dirt. He looked at Fonzi. "Let's go find a hardware store and buy a couple of shovels. You and I are about to do a lot of digging."

* * *

The cool weather made digging a lot easier, and although they had both stripped off their jackets and shirts and were digging in their undershirts, they were both sweating from their exertions. But their hard work was paying off. After only two hours they had already managed to dig 8 feet down.

Being in a small hole, pressed against the hot and sweaty man that was Fonzi, Jack's hormones were going crazy. Fonzi seemed unaffected, much to Jack's disappointment, so he made no attempt to try anything, but every so often he found his thoughts straying to fantasies that would make a sailor blush. At any rate, it kept his mind busy as his body labored with the monotony of digging.

They paused briefly for lunch, at some nothing place where they got sandwiches that were advertised as pastrami but might have been sawdust for all Jack could tell.

By Three o'clock they passed the 12 foot mark. No sooner did Jack announce this that Fonzi's shovel hit something hard and metallic.

Jack and Fonzi both hunched down to scrape the dirt away with their hands. Slowly a bluish silver metal was exposed.

"What luck!" Jack cried in delight. "We dug our hole right over the entry hatch." He scraped some caked dirt from what looked like a control panel. He tried pressing a few buttons but nothing happend. "Must be dead," he said with a frown. Before Fonzi could ask a question, Jack used the shovel to smash the control panel. Fonzi jumped back with a start.

"What did you do that for?" he asked.

Instead of replying, Jack ripped the control panel out of the ship and reached behind it. "Sometimes there's a manual release hidden behind these- ouch!" he yelled pulling his hand back and sucking on his finger.  
"What happened?" Fonzi asked with concern.  
"It's nothing. I just cut myself. And there doesn't seem to be a manual release. And this door is made of solid Tritheric Carbon. We're gonna need plastic explosives to get through this thing. I don't suppose you have any on you?"

Jack looked at Fonzi, who was staring at the door with a look of deep thought on his face.

"You alright?" Jack asked.

All of a sudden Fonzi made a fist, blew on it, and smacked the entry hatch with the side of his fist. It immediately slid open.

Jack looked at him with open shock on his face. "How on Earth did you do that?"

Fonzi just smiled and gave Jack two thumbs up. "Ayyyyy."

Jack grinned and said "well whatever you did worked. We're in." He peered through the hatch. It was almost pitch black inside so Jack went to his coat and grabbed a flashlight. There was a six foot drop to the floor, and he climbed down the metal ladder that was bolted to the wall, Fonzi right behind him.

When they were solidly on the floor (which tilted about 15 degrees to the left, Jack noted) Jack shined the flashlight around. They were in a small semicircular room with four doors leading off of it. Otherwise, the room was completely empty, save for the two of them.

"I can't believe I'm actually in a spaceship!" Fonzi said in awe. "This is incredible!"

"It's a dead spaceship 12 feet under the ground in the middle of Wisconsin. Trust me Fonzi, I've seen better." He flashed a grin at Fonzi, which looked a bit predatory in the flashlight beam. "This way," he said, indicating the far door. "Let's see if we can get the power up and running."

"After 100 years?" Fonzi asked incredulously.

"Depends on the power source I suppose."

After Jack had manually pried the door open, they found themselves in a room not much bigger than the one they had just left. It was clearly the remains of the engine room. Large machines that had once powered the ship were in pieces, the result of a massive explosion. An entire piece of the exterior wall of the ship had been blown out and 100-plus years of settling dirt had filled the room to a depth of several inches.

"I guess we're not gonna be able to restore the power," Jack said with a sigh. "Let's look for the bridge." As he was turning to leave, he noticed something poking out of the dirt. He bent down and swept the dirt away. Two bodies on the floor, now just skeletons in rags.

Fonzi made a retching sound but managed to get himself under control.

"Where's Katali?" Jack asked aloud. "There are only two bodies here and they're both clearly male."

Fonzi wasn't gonna ask how Jack was able to determine the gender of a skeleton, certainly not from a quick glance. "Maybe she survived and got out?"

"No," Jack shook his head. "The door we came through was disabled in the crash. Even if she had forced it open, without any power, it would have stayed open. When we found it it was still closed."

"Maybe there's a back door or something?" Fonzi pondered.

"Possibly," Jack mused as turned to leave the room. "We can think about that in a minute but first, let's head for the bridge. Most likely she's there, and we might also be able to get a better idea of what happened here."

They went back to the antechamber and tried the next door. Sure enough it was the bridge. It was also a disaster. Fallen beams, burned out circuitry scattered about the floor, what looked like the remains of a fire. But no Katali. "Interesting. Let's check the next room." But as he was about to walk through the door it slid shut with a bang. "What?!" he called out in shock. "There's no power. It shouldn't be able to do that." He reached out to touch the door then pulled his hand back with a gasp of pain.

"What is it?" Fonzi said, starting to get a bit nervous.

"It's cold. Like freezing," Jack replied. No sooner had he said it that both men noticed the temperature dropping precipitously. Within a few seconds their breath was frosting in the stale air.

Jack was about to say something when a sharp banging came from the left followed by the sound of mournful moaning.

"What the hell!?" Fonzi half screamed as he jumped back from the noise. "Jack, what the hell is going on?"  
I'm not sure," Jack said, looking around cautiously. He consulted his vortex manipulator. "This thing isn't telling me anything," he said in disgust. He kicked angrily at the broken chair in front of him… and dislodged a data wafer that had been in a data port in the arm of the chair. Going over to pick it up, he blew on it and laid it flat on his vortex manipulator. Suddenly another hologram appeared, also of Katali. But something looked off about her. She appeared slightly translucent.

"Personal log, final entry. It's not just the ship that's drifting backwards in time now. I seem to be as well. I appear to be phase shifting away from the timeframe that the ship is in. I don't know-" her voice cut out as she faded almost completely away. A moment later she was restored to her previous translucent state. "- theorize that the chronitons are somehow interacting with my Graff implant and causing the-" she faded from view again, this time completely and permanently. The video continued, showing Katali's empty chair, but after about four more seconds there was a huge crash, the image rocked violently, and then a burst of static, then nothing.

Jack's mouth went dry. He had just witnessed the pilot of this ship disappear from the timestream seconds before her ship fatally crashed into the Earth. He didn't know if she was either incredibly lucky, or if she had been transported to some sort of extra-dimensional hell. From the moaning noises and the ice cold that he and Fonzi now found themselves in, he feared the latter.


	6. Chapter 6

"She's a ghost?" Fonzi asked in horror. He too had been watching the holographic projection.

"Don't be ridiculous," Jack scoffed. "There's no such thing as ghosts. Well, at least not in the undead haunting the living sort of way. I guess there are ghosts of a sort though. Data ghosts, transmission afterimages, Sanciri effect inversions… but this is something new for me. According to this," he said, indicating the data wafer that still rested on his manipulator, "she thinks she's been time shifted." Another loud moan and bang sounded, causing both Jack and Fonzi to jump. "And it seems like even after 100 years, she's still haunting this ship."

Jack sat down in the broken chair, thinking.

Fonzi looked like he wanted to be anywhere but where he was.

Jack's head popped up. A thought had come to him. "If we can hear her -and mind you, this is all theoretical to me, I wasn't even aware it could happen- and she actually has been time shifted, then she couldn't have shifted too far. My guess is plus or minus one second or less from the timestream that we're in."

Fonzi was trying to keep up but it really was beyond him. He nodded anyway at what he thought were the appropriate times. Gotta keep up appearances.

Jack suddenly jumped up and raced to the door, prying it open.

"Where are you going?" Fonzi asked, desperate not to be left alone with the ghost.

"The engine room!" Jack called back.

"What for?" Fonzi said as he came alongside Jack. "Everything in there was destroyed.

"Maybe." Jack said.

Fonzi seemed confused by this but he didn't say anything.

Jack consulted his manipulator. "When the hyperbattery they were testing exploded it bombarded everything in this room with chronitons. It's been over a hundred years but the surfaces of this room are still saturated with chroniton particles. If we could find a way to extract them…"

At that moment, Fonzi lifted the hem of his undershirt and wiped the sweat and dirt off his face. Jack's eyes lit up, and not just because of the expanse of exposed flesh that was uncovered.

"That's it!" Jack exclaimed. "Fonzi, take your undershirt off."

"What?!" Fonzie asked in shock. "Why?"

But Jack was already taking his off too. "Just do it," Jack exclaimed, as now topless, he went over to one of the intact walls and started running his shirt all over the wall.

"What are you doing?" Fonzi asked in confused amusement.

"Collecting chroniton particles!" Jack grinned.

Fonzi shrugged and did likewise.

Two minutes later they were back in the bridge, which thanks to their ghost, was even colder than the rest of the ship, especially without their shirts on.

"Give me your undershirt," Jack said, reaching his hand out. He couldn't help but appreciate Fonzi's uncovered torso. He pulled his mind away from such thoughts and focused on the matter at hand.

Fonzi complied and Jack took both undershirts and slowly walked around the bridge. Suddenly there was a loud bang And Jack practically dove towards the noise with his undershirt-filled hands outstretched. All of a sudden, there was a shrieking sound and a cold wind, and in front of Jack, the ghostly image of a woman appeared for a brief moment before flickering out.

"Was that her?" Fonzi asked, incredulous.

"Yes!" Jack shouted exuberantly. "The undershirts are soaked with chronitons from the hyperbattery and they're drawing her back to the the proper timestream. But We don't have enough. We need to collect more chronitons for it to work."

"So what, you want us to take our pants off and go rub them on the walls of the engine room?" Fonzi asked, looking at Jack suspiciously.

Jack smirked mischievously as he let the delicious image of Fonzi in nothing but his boxer shorts enter his mind. "Much as that idea appeals to me, I have a better idea. Wait here, I'll be right back."

Fonzi opened his mouth to protest being left alone with the ghost, but he thought about it. If it really was just a phase shifted woman, then what was he worrying about? He was The Fonz. He knew his way around women.

Jack came back a few minutes later with his massive WW2 trench coat. "This should do it," he said as he ran into the room. "Much more surface area. I should hopefully have collected enough chroniton particles."

He circled in place, looking about the room. "Come out, come out, wherever you are!"

There was a sudden moaning almost directly in front of him, and he dove forward. Suddenly the form of a woman, Katali, appeared and he wrapped the coat around her. She was still only half visible. "It's still not enough!" Jack exclaimed in distress. "We need more. We need to stabilize her in our time stream. We need to get this blasted woman to come back to us!"

Jack's words resonated with Fonzi. Jack said they needed the women to come to them. Well who, if not Fonzi, could get a woman to come to him?

"She's fading again!" Jack screamed, and Fonzi could see that Katali was rapidly losing coherence. Fonzi felt a grin coming to his face. It had always worked in the past. It never let him down. Why not give it a try? Jack needed a woman to come to them? No problem. In a sudden motion, Fonzi raised his right arm, looked directly at the fading form of Katali, and snapped his fingers.

There was an abrupt jolt and for a second, the world got blurry, but when it stabilized, there was Jack, with a beautiful woman wrapped up in his trench coat. Jack looked between Katali and Fonzi, astonishment on his face. "How did you do that?" he asked of Fonzi.

"What?" Fonzi asked with a grin on his face. "You mean this?" He snapped his fingers again and Katali left Jack's embrace and walked over to Fonzi, draping her arm over his shoulder. Jack just looked at him flabbergasted.

It was then that Katali finally spoke. "Is someone gonna tell me why there are two topless hunks on the bridge of my ship?"


	7. Epilogue

The three of them had crawled out of the ship and were watching the sun sink lower in the evening sky.

"I can't believe it," Jack said in astonishment. "It's been over 100 years since you crashed and yet you say only 3 hours have passed for you."

"How is that even possible?" Fonzi asked.

"She was out of phase with our time stream. I guess hers was moving slower than ours. But whatever the reason, she's here and she's alive."

 _Boy is she ever alive_ Fonzi thought to himself. She was a total babe.

"How can I ever repay you boys?" She said huskily.

Fonzi and Jack both groaned lustily at that. Then Katali burst out giggling. "Oh you two," she chuckled.

They walked over to Fonzi's motorcycle. "If we squeeze on tightly," Fonzi began, "I think we can all fit. It may be a tad uncomfortable but it's not such a long ride back to my place."

"I like that idea," Jack said eagerly. "Can I be in the middle?" He sounded as giddy as a schoolgirl. Fonzi eyed him warily. "Um, I think logistically, it would be better if Katali sat in the middle."

Jack got a sad look on his face. "Oh, ok," he sighed. "Oh and Fonzi?"

"Hm?" Fonzi enquired.

"You have GOT to teach me how to do that finger snapping thing!" Jack laughed and Fonzi couldn't help but grin. Then the three of them hopped onto Fonzi's bike and drove off into the sunset.


End file.
